Tomas Montano

AUSTIN, Texas — Our next guest may have over 4 million likes on TikTok and a video with over 27 million views, and is a previous state champion tennis player and the ex-VP of his college fraternity – but his story runs much deeper.

Please welcome, Tomas.

Tomas and I grabbed time at our Pride photo shoot as I typically do and peeled back the layers of his story.

“So I’m originally from Tucson Arizona, born and raised! But I moved to Sherman Texas when I was 16 because of my parent’s job – and I attended private christian school my entire life” Tomas explained. “After school, I moved to Dallas and worked in the medical field for a pediatric home health firm – I must have been doing something right because I was promoted a few times which led to me moving to Austin in 2016!”

If you know Tomas, you know he always brings the energy – this interview started off in just that fashion.

“I then moved on to a different job for a pharma company which offered me such great experience” Tomas detailed. “I really want to get into the medical device field so was a great first step”

However, during this time something else in happened in Tomas’s life that was a long time coming.

“Around this time, I came out to my parents over thanksgiving” Tomas said as his tone changed. “My mom cried, and she said she wished I had told her sooner. She pushed me to tell my father but I wasn’t comfortable in doing so – however, she ended up telling him and as you can imagine he wasn’t happy because of our Christian background” Tomas explained. “From there I sort of broke off communication with my family outside of my sister”

I asked Tomas more about coming out, and more about this dynamic with his family.

“I came out at 29, which is late, but I wanted to do it in my own time. I knew what my family’s response would be, but I wanted to be independent and on my own before telling them.” Tomas explained. “I know a lot of people in the gay community have hard feelings towards people who don’t accept them, I just want people to know that if someone doesn’t have personal experience with it – it will always be impossible for them to know 100% what it’s like”

I can see Tomas has been through a lot, and it’s true that people who don’t go through what he or others have, won’t ever know what it’s like – but we all as a society must be open, accepting and empathetic to what folks in this community have and continue to go through.

“I’ve gone through a lot in the past few years – friends moving away, relationships ending – I had nobody but myself. I just want anyone who is struggling to know that finding out who you are and do whatever it is that drives you but – do it for yourself. “Tomas explained with conviction.

We close in our typical fashion.

“All things considered – I’ve lived a good life. Looking at my past inspires me to be a better version of myself. It allows me to take anything that comes at me and improve myself each day. I think the most important thing we can do as people is identify who we are and not feel like we must act certain ways to please others – I’m just going to be me. Whoever accepts you for who you are – those are the people to keep in your circle.”

As a society, I think we sometimes get pulled into thinking we need to have a ton of friends or connections – in reality, we are the gate keepers to our own circle, and we must follow in Tomas’s footsteps. Being ourselves, being open, and allowing those in that accept us, for us.